Who’s holding the remote control? [3/9]
Exploring the dangers of blindly allowing personalised AI to shape our future
A blog series by Dr. Alex Bowyer and Iain Henderson
AI is infiltrating our social lives
Welcome to the third in our series ‘Who is holding the remote control?’
In today’s hectic world, our social lives and leisure time matter more than ever. They’re how we connect, recharge and feel human.
But increasingly these moments are being colonised - by apps, nudges, algorithms and platforms. Wholesome walks or team sports now come pre-filtered, gamified and monetised.
We’re already used to quizzes and lifestyle nudges that funnel us into programmes that promise a better, more fulfilling life - all for a monthly low price. But behind the helpful veneer is a data-guzzling machine designed to track more, sell more and influence us more.
As AI systems creep from our screens into our social worlds, the stakes are only going to get higher. New AI agents with tailor-made positioning may sound exciting and relevant. But we must stop and assess whether each app offers personal AI–to truly understand us and serve our interests–or personalised AI–that disempowers us and only serves the platforms in amassing more data about us. Make the wrong choice, and we risk losing our way.
For a refresher on the difference between personal and personalised AI, see Part 1.
To see what AI-driven social life might look like in the future, meet Tom:
PART 3: SOCIAL LIFE
“Now Entering a Pre-Approved Natural Moment” – Tom’s Story
Tom had always loved walking. Nothing fancy - An evening loop round the reservoir and up to the hilltop, wind in his hair, a bit of mud on his boots. A longer hike on Sundays.
But these days, it wasn’t so simple.
Ever since his local Rambles & Runs group partnered with StrideTrack, things had changed. First it was the wristbands — “for safety and route planning.” Then the route announcements came with brand jingles:
“Today’s 5K is brought to you by FlexJoint Supplements. Feel the freedom!”
Still, Tom went along. He liked the people. Or at least, he had.
One warm Sunday in June, he showed up early. Strangers were already stretching. Young, shiny types. A mid-twenties lad with a perfectly-styled moustache and dazzling white teeth was unboxing his selfie drone. He looked up at Tom, gave him a thumbs-up and said, “Great day for levelling up, eh?”
Tom laughed awkwardly. “Just here for the walk.”
A little later, once the walk was underway, the group leader, Carly, pulled him aside. “You’ve not been tagging your outings,” she said, her voice low. “It messes with the cohesion data. Try to record more smiles at the end next time — we’re trending down a bit on joy metrics.”
Tom blinked. A knot of unease tightened in his chest.
As they neared the walk’s end, Tom was gutted to see that the pub roast at the Lazy Trout had been dropped. Last time he’d loved watching the canalboats in the lock while enjoying a well-earned pint in the beer garden. But the route had been “optimised”. Now the last stop was for cheap Sangria and loaded fries at Westercrowns, a faceless chain pub who’d partnered with StrideTrack.
That afternoon, belly rumbling, Tom sat on his couch, disheartened. A “memory reel” from the group account landed in his feed. Photos he hadn’t posed for. Voice snippets he didn’t recall saying. Even a video of him patting Carly’s dog, with the tagline:
“Our hikers love PetPaws Treats — find your companion today!”
He hadn’t even liked that dog. It had nearly knocked over a child.
Later, Tom messaged the group chat on LiveMeet.com to say he was thinking of organising a quiet, tech-free hike. Just some friends. Photography, birdwatching, maybe a cheeky wild swim. No hashtags. No metrics.
No-one replied. He later learned that LiveMeet’s AI bot had auto-trashed the post.
The next day, a notification lit up his phone:
“HikeEase Horizons needs men like you! Could your perfect match be waiting?”
AI-generated profiles. Smiling faces. He clicked, curious; 1 message waiting, from ‘Amelie’, asking, “So what’s your favourite trail snack? 😄”. Another bloody bot.
Tom sighed, put his phone away and grabbed the remote. The home screen recommended Highland Steps, a new PrimeFlix show where a B-list celebrity hikes through remote Scottish glens. He pressed Play, and stopped thinking.
Is It Still Leisure If It’s Always Tracked?
What starts as a community becomes content. What begins as a walk becomes an advertising surface and yet another data collection point.
Personalised AI turns every social experience into a gamified loop, telling you what to feel, where to go and how to be. It sells you connection, but only if you follow the rules.
A personal AI would know when to leave you alone.
A personal AI doesn’t engineer leisure. It protects it.
It knows when you want quiet. When you want real people, not curated interventions. It brings people together - not brands. It guides you to spaces that feel safe, joyful and open.
Are we outsourcing serendipity? If technology must be involved, it should create space for the magic: the awkward silences, the surprise belly laughs, the weird inside jokes no brand could ever manufacture.
Your social life shouldn’t be a playlist. It should be a playground.
Choose AI that helps you show up — not just fit in.
→ Next time you feel nudged, pause. Ask: Who benefits from the path I’m on?
→ The next time your downtime feels like a task list, ask: Who’s it really for?
→ Sometimes a walk is just a walk. Let’s keep it that way.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s post in our “Who’s holding the remote control?” series. Each story explores a different fork in the road between AI that works on you, and AI that works for you.
If you missed the earlier parts, here’s some links:
Part 1: TRAVEL
- “The Lure of Convenience”Part 2: HOME
- “Relax, Just Let Me Handle Things”Part 4: FINANCES
- “Whose Money is it Anway?’
Come back next week to explore what effects personalised AI could have on our finances and money matters.
Thanks for reading — please add your comments below!